You were perfectly fine . . .

It's a whole new world.

Hello. I have news. Quietly happy news (as opposed to the jumping up and down, Alchemy Yarns on 50% off sale happy news). Probably you'll think I'm crazy--although if you've read this blog much, you KNOW I am.

I've been a lawyer for 14 years. I'm proud of the accomplishment, and I love the law--studying it, and writing about it. But I really hated BEING a lawyer. The lifestyle was relentless and made me miss too much of my kid's life. And the posture of constant conflict was making my spirit hurt. Seriously. So I decided to do something else.

So maybe I am crazy, but I'm tellin' ya--I feel like I just got out of jail. Now I can read the Supreme Court decisions because I want to, and write articles because I have something to say. I still have my law license, so I can use it when I want--the best of all worlds.

Another update: My mom is done with her 6 rounds of chemo and started radiation therapy yesterday. She's doing great.

Knitting--yes, I've done some. I'll take pictures and share later. It's really hot here, so I'm sticking to small projects for awhile.

Jeezus, I'm lazy.

I'm knitting, I swear. And reading JenLa. And that's about all.

Mostly, though, I'm cleaning out the garage and office. Why? Well, dh and I had a Marital Moment on Saturday, and I was reminded that I am 40 and have certain adult responsibilities, several of which I have allowed to languish despite my ample unemployed free time. He's right. (Egad, don't tell him I said that.) So I got out my Martha Stewart label maker, several large plastic bins, and a box of contractor's garbage bags, and got to work.

A week later, the end is in sight. Yes, a week. What? Oh. I'm a pack rat. Irrefutable evidence: I still have (or had, until I pitched it this week) the Ryder truck rental agreement for the truck I rented to move from UCLA to San Francisco for law school in August 1987. Just to give you a little perspective, that summer Whitney Houston didn't take drugs or even know Bobby Brown yet--she was busy skipping through her videos singing "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." Madonna was still pairing snow white hair with jet black eyebrows. And Michael Jackson was touring "Bad" instead of being on trial for . . . well you get the idea.

I have to go get rid of more stuff. God only knows what I'll find next. Shoot me. I mean it.

adventures of an aspiring polyglot

For my Ulla heart socks I had to do a little language research. I know, I could just ask someone on the KBTH list to help, but I have this THING about doing it myself.  I know it's odd of me. Like knitting socks isn't tricky enough.

Imagine my delight when I found Marjutin Neuleet/Neulesanasto. (Don't ask me what that means. I have no idea. Yet.) It is a fantastically detailed and useful glossary translating English/American knitting terms into Finnish. I freaking LOVE finding stuff like this on the Internet! And wonder (again) what the hell we all did for so long without it.

No pictures until Monday--the husband went to his annual sales meeting this week and took his cool fast laptop with him . . . so I'm stuck with the schlumpy old desktop that is twice as old as my kid. And A LOT slower. If I tried to download photos onto this thing, I fear that it would begin to smoke and sputter, then collapse in on itself leaving a gaping black hole in the middle of the desk. Or I would become so frustrated waiting for it to do something--anything!--that I'd begin to smoke and sputter, then collapse in on myself, leaving god-knows-what behind.

Whatever it is, I hope there's a term for it in Finnish.

pop quiz

Compare and contrast this statement from the 2004 State of the Union speech:

Many of our troops are listening tonight. And I want you and your families to know: America is proud of you. And my administration, and this Congress, will give you the resources you need to fight and win the war on terror. (Applause.)

with this ("Hurt Troops Often Denied Pay, Benefits," by James Herndon, Los Angeles Times, Feb. 18, 2005) and this ("U.S. Soldiers Lack Best Protective Gear," by Jonathan Turley, USAToday, December 17, 2003--quoting testimony by then-commander of forces in Iraq General Abizaid indicating that he did not know "why we started this war with protective vests [i.e., body armor/"bulletproof vests"] that were in short supply.")

Every time I see a vehicle with a yellow "support our troops" ribbon and a W sticker I wonder how they've missed the fact that these are contradictory sentiments. Supporting W translates to ensuring that our troops are sent into battles we aren't prepared for and don't need to fight, that they are sent in without the armor and careful planning needed to protect them and ensure the success of their missions, and that if they are hurt or killed they will be hidden from public view and denied the health care and other services they and their families have been promised.

During the recent presidential campaign, W and his minions repeatedly stated--and apparently many people came to believe--that the lack of body armor and other equipment needed to protect troops in Iraq was somehow the fault of Sen. Kerry, who voted against the $87 billion appropriations bill for the war in Iraq. Hello? We invaded Iraq in mid-March 2003; the appropriations bill was sent to Congress in September 2003. Um, I'm pretty sure that nothing I do today is going to cause retroactive harm (or benefit) to someone 6 months ago. And the bill DID pass ("easily") in October 2003, so Sen. Kerry's vote had no effect . . . except to give the W camp something to twist and lie about.

My grandpa used to tell us: when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Why in this most critical situation don't W's actions speak louder than his words?

when NOT in Rome . . . dream of Finland?

I missed SW in Santa Clara this weekend, but on my way over to JenLa to check out what I missed, I found this: ULLA, a knitting netmag (like Knitty) from Finland. The pattern index is here. My new goal in life? To become a knitting polyglot so I can knit every pattern I see. Is that too greedy of me?

Here is the one I'm going to try.

How cute are these? I know, they're just socks. But still. Is it wrong to be obsessed?

At least it's not a poncho.

And here is the cartoon from this issue of ULLA, reproduced here in honor of husbands like La's and mine who . . . well, they don't get the knitting thing. No translation needed.

mmmm . . . knitting

Do you ever wish you could just close yourself in your favorite cozy knitting spot with a couple of projects, a few good movies, and regular deliveries of your top comfort foods? I'm wishing that today. The weather outside is grey and blah and cold and dull. Blech. 

(Note: It's cold and icky--for California. If you live in Saskatchewan or Siberia, or you grew up in Wisconsin, please don't write and tell me how wimpy I am to complain about our weather when in many other parts of the world winter involves being turned into a human ice cube and plugging in your car at the mall so you can drive back home. In fact, let's make a deal: if you won't do the "you think THAT's cold?!!" thing then I won't complain about the extraordinarily high cost of living here. K?)

I finished the giraffe and elephant blankie for my nephew--it has a backing knit from Phildar's fluffy Peluche, and I sewed them together last night.

This blankie is pretty small, but a good size for Charlie to carry around and play with. And of course he has to have the matching giraffe toy. :) K helped me put the stuffing in the giraffe, and then decided she might like one too. The ultimate kid seal of approval.

While I was in small project mode, I worked on a flower to be felted for my felting class next month. It's from a pin kit distributed by KnitWhits, which I think was much too pricey ($20 at my LYS), but since I'm knitting it for the store I didn't have to pay for it.

We'll see how it turns out--the instructions call for the pieces to be assembled BEFORE felting, and I would have thought they should be sewn together afterward. I know, I know, I should just do as I'm told . . . I always have trouble with that.

I want to show the different kinds of things you can do with felting, including smaller projects like this. I'm also going to knit a couple of the roses from the felted rose garden bag in the current VogueKnitting.

Finally, I did get a box of Plymouth Encore yesterday in Burnt Sienna, gold, Bronze and Dark Country Blue for some no-thought-required knitting. Can you guess what I'll be working on?

Oh yes, I'm a fan. I can't wait for July 16.

Playing catch-up

I have lots to catch up on today. My mom is doing great; she had to have a second surgery on the 25th to take out more, but now they've gotten it all. She will find out in a few days whether she'll go straight to radiation or have chemo first. She is SO hoping that she won't have to have chemo, but we'll see. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

On my way down to San Diego, I stopped by my mother-in-law's house to pick up the gift she wanted me to take to my mom. Have I mentioned that my MIL is fantastic? Since I was leaving so early, she put the gift out on the front step, along with the previously un-photographed Alchemy scarf I made for her.

Click on the photo to see the pattern better. My MIL said she's been wearing the scarf almost every day, and gets lots of compliments on it. I love that!

Next up, here's the bag I'll be teaching for FashionKnits in Walnut Creek. BEFORE:

(I swear that when I finished knitting the tube that became the body of the bag, before I sewed the bottom seam, it looked just like a tube top for a hippopotamus. It was pretty funny.)

And AFTER:

It was made with Manos del Uruguay, color 05, held double. The carry-along is Joy, and the pattern is FiberTrends AC43. It was fun and quick, and the Manos felted very well. I did pull all of the ribbons from the Joy through to the outside before felting to make the ribbon part fuller. If you don't want to do that, I would get 2 balls of Joy and carry 2 strands along in that section instead of just one.

If you're in the area, the class will be on two Sundays, March 13 and 20 from 1:30p to 3p.

One note on tools: think twice before buying Crystal Palace bamboo needles. Grrrr. I was still in San Diego when I got to the handles, and didn't have any size 11 needles with me. The only ones available at the LYS I found were CPs. Within the first inch of the first handle, I had bits of one of the needle tips splintering and peeling off. It SUCKED. This isn't the first time I've had this problem with their needles. Luckily I was using them for a felting project this time, so I was only annoyed by the snagging, and didn't have to worry about the snags showing up in the finished product.

After that, I finished up the Phildar giraffe jacket for my nephew:

This was a great, easy project. I added about 2cm to the length, because my nephew is tall-ish. I did have to block the heck out of it to get the hem to lay flat--the Pegase+ is 75% acrylic and 25% wool, so I had to get it really wet and let it dry completely.

And one more project--to match:

I've been busy, I guess. :)

Also, I turned 40 this week. Can you believe that shit? I don't feel remotely mature enough to be 40. But there it is. This is one of the best things about never having been a beauty queen: you can enjoy growing older, because you have more interesting things to think about and say, and you don't miss what you used to look like.

on my way to San Diego

I'm about to leave for San Diego to be with my mom for her surgery tomorrow. I tried to post last night, but typepad was kind of slow--not sure what's up with that.

Thanks for the sage advice re: the scarf pictorial. I called my mother-in-law, told her the "book of finished projects" story, and she agreed. She DID clearly think that was odd, but was gracious enough not to say so. :)  I sort of wish I'd just gone for the breaking in idea, but imagine how odd she'd find me then . . .

In the meantime, here are a few other pictures for your perusal. First, Cavendish--she is finished at last, and folded carefully awaiting presentation to my sister as a house-warming present (she just bought her first home).

Made with Noro Silk Garden (complete with weeds and brambles, just like a real garden) on 5mm needles using the pattern from Jane Ellison's Noro book (it's on the cover). Very simple, a little boring to knit, but really worth it, I think.

And one of two armwarmers knit from the remnants of the picture-to-be-taken-later scarf. I loved this yarn, and didn't want it to go to waste, so I knit the Hurry Up Spring Armwarmers from SnB Nation. If you get this book and want to knit the armwarmers, EMAIL ME and I'll give you the pattern errata. The chart legend is wrong, and if you haven't knit cable-type-stuff before, this will piss you off. I promise.

Next, the present for my mom--you've seen the scarf already, but I also got her the latest Knitters. She has to sit for four hours tomorrow morning before her surgery with a wire injecting blue radioactive dye into her boob (to find the sentinel nodes nearest her tumor and check them first to make sure it hasn't spread), so I figured she could use some light reading material.

And finally, a present for me from France. This will keep me happy for quite a while.

By the way, with each of my six--count them, SIX!--Phildar magazines, I received a letter/coupon for 5 euro off of a 30 euro purchase. All I have to do is present said letter/coupon when I make my purchase at a Phildar store . . . in France. If you live in France or are planning a visit soon, and you would like to put one or more of these letter/coupons to good use at a Phildar retail outlet near you, email me and I'll send them to you. I would hate for 30-euros-worth of coupons to go to waste. :)

Wish us luck tomorrow, and thanks to La for lighting a candle for my mom. Be safe.

a picture is worth a thousand words . . .

Except when you forget to take one. Oof. I knit my mother-in-law a gorgeous (I can't help being immodest here) lacy scarf from Alchemy Synchronicity (silk/merino blend, rich color with that sheen that silk gives, soft enough to wear against even sensitive skin with no itching). I carefully pinned it out and blocked it. And last night I gave it to her (a late birthday gift).

But I forgot to take a picture first! Wah!!!

So I'm taking a poll. Please feel free to add any suggestions you might have. Which would be weirder: (1) sneaking into the house when she's not home, finding it, and taking a picture, or (2) asking her if I can take a picture for my blog, then explaining what a blog is (hopefully without raising any curiosity in her that might lead to her actually visiting said blog)?

In other news, I would like to point out that the United States Supreme Court is rapidly losing my respect. I don't say that lightly; I hold our Constitution and those who guard it in the highest esteem. I don't do religion, so to me, the Constitution is as close to a sacred document as I get.

From Bush v. Gore (a shameful moment for the entire court, in which the "strict constructionists" suddenly saw something to read into the Constitution, and the "judicial activists" were suddenly in favor of strict construction), to Scalia's "don't you dare question ME" memorandum opinion, I haven't been as impressed as I'd like to be.

And now we have a new low. Lofton v. Secretary of the Florida Department of Children and Families, 04-478.

On Friday, the Court began considering whether to take the case of gay foster parents in Florida who are challenging the Anita-Bryant-inspired 1977 Florida law that prevents all homosexual couples in that state from adopting children. And today, Monday, before those of us on the West Coast had even had our morning coffee, the Court refused to hear that case (along with hundreds of others), doing so without any comment explaining said refusal. Cowards.

I'm not surprised. The right wing of the Court got hammered by Dobson and Falwell, et al, for their (bitterly split) decision acknowledging that criminalizing private homosexual sex was unconstitutional. So they don't want to get their fingers singed again. And if they pander to that constituency again, they risk leaving an opinion out there that future generations will study alongside Dred Scott and other shameful Court episodes.

So they're just going to leave millions of gay Americans (and foster children in Florida) hanging in the breeze. Disappointing.

By the way, if you find the Supreme Court as interesting as I do, here's a great blog/site to check out: SCOTUSblog. It's written by a law firm that does a lot of work before the Court, and includes links to the official records. Pretty cool.

[Brief case background: Florida Gov. Jeb Bush maintains that the children, often products of troubled and unstable backgrounds, should have both a father and a mother. Supporters of the law say that the state of Florida has the right to promote "traditional mother-father families" if it chooses to do so. Opponents point out that Florida allows singles, divorcees, people with disabilities, and even in some cases convicted criminals to adopt. And they argue that a blanket prohibition against gays adopting children is based in unlawful discrimination against gays and homosexuals.]

breaking news

Looks like I will have some part-time legal work soon, doing real estate transactions, which is right up my alley. :) I kind of have a weird feeling about it, but I think it's just nerves. We'll see. Meanwhile, work = good.

Also, I'm going to be teaching a felted tote class at my LYS in Walnut Creek. I'm pretty excited about this. If this class works out, maybe I'll be able to teach some other stuff too. I enjoy knitting so much, and finally feel experienced enough to help other people pick up new skills. Plus it keeps me from being my usual hermity self.

Jeez this post is dull--I'm even boring myself. Lately I've been really feeling the need to DO something, something that matters, that I can look forward to accomplishing, that I can look back on in my elder years with pride. You know? Since I graduated from law school and passed the bar in 1990, I haven't really done anything that made me beam with pride. (We're leaving aside all motherhood issues here--if you have kid(s) you know what I mean, and if you don't, just trust me on this: it's not the same kind of pride.)

And the real problem is that I would need to choose something and stick with it--not change my mind midstream. I'm really good at getting things started, but unless I'm really passionate about the goal and/or the process to the goal, I'm not so good at the keeping-going or the finishing-up. And the fear of choosing the wrong thing or failing at whatever I choose is kind of keeping me from choosing anything at all.

Stupid, I know.

Does anyone else feel this way? Like you're just on an endless treatmill of working, paying the bills, taking care of your family, and trying to be sane/productive/not unhappy? Do I just need to up my dose of Zoloft? :)

Here's a cause I could get into: passing the ERA. Yep, you heard that right. I heard an interview with Ruth Bader Ginsberg last night on NPR, and she talked about the ERA as a symbol, an important one, that would acknowledge the equal place of women in our society. And I think she's right. Maybe it would be "only" symbolic, but I think justice is justice, and symbols ARE important.

Also, I've gotta think: who would vote against this? And why? If the Republican party can try to amend the Constitution to institutionalize bigotry against gays and lesbians, why can't we try to amend the Constitution to acknowledge the fundamental equality of men and women?

I'm just saying.

In other depressing news, I listened to most of the Gonzales confirmation hearing yesterday. For those of you that missed it, here's a paraphrase:

SENATOR: If confirmed as Attorney General of the United States, would you do X?

GONZALES: Well, you know, I would have to go down and confer with the attorneys in the Department of Justice about that and see what they have to say, and really do what is to be done in that situation.

SENATOR: Um, okay. Um, I'm not sure if you answered that question, really . . . [silence from witness] . . . Well. I'll move on, then. You are the head of the White House's Office of Legal Counsel, which issued a legal opinion setting this administration's policy with respect to torture and interrogation. This memo re-defined torture as "inflicting pain tantamount to that caused by organ failure or death," which basically exempts out (i.e., allows U.S. personnel to engage in) a lot of activities most reasonable people would consider to be torture. That remained the official (albeit secret) policy of the United States government for nearly 2 years, even after it was leaked to the press and made public, until shortly after the President nominated you for this position. Do you support torture, Mr. Gonzales? And as Attorney General, the highest law enforcement position in our country, will you continue to support it?

GONZALES: The Office of Legal Counsel developed that memorandum, and it was only addressed to me. I don't recall who requested it, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. It's not my job to choose what actions the Defense Department will take, and basically I refuse to take responsibility for, or even acknowledge, anything I have ever said, written or done.

Seriously--his answer to almost every question was a long and obscure way of saying "I'm not going to tell you that; it's none of your business." That doesn't really inspire confidence, does it?

I love the way Maureen Dowd put it yesterday: "You know how bad the situation is when the president's choice for attorney general has to formally pledge not to support torture anymore."

Yeah, what she said.